Money Shot 101

Make sure you know where your partner draws the line when it comes to your money shot! For women this is not so much an issue as it is for us men because women can pretty much bust their nut anywhere without worrying about leaving behind a mess. Now men you do not have that luxury. When you bust a nut you can bet that there will be some cleanup involved. So lets talk about doe’s and dont’s, when and where.

INSIDE HER:

This one is a landmine. Know exactly where you stand right from the beginning. Is she ok with this ? Is she on birth control? This should be a serious relationship because if you are not using condoms the risk is high of unwanted pregnancy, STD’s and not to mention all the emotional issues. Know where you stand and make sure it is ok with her. Your benefit is that 90% of the cleanup is her responsibility.

IN A CONDOM:

This is the prefered method if you are running around town pile driving everything that moves. The things to look out for are. (1) remove the condom before junior goes back to sleep so the condom wont fall off letting your man juice escape making a mess on the sheets, floor, sofa etc. That wont be a good look. (2) make sure you tie it up in a knot as soon as you take it off so it wont slip out of your hands open up and make a mess. (3) Put it in the garbage not down the toilet or take it with you to dump it in the trash or possibly clean it out under hot running soapy water. (real sexy huh?)

IN HER MOUTH:

WINNER! that’s the prevailing thought out there among men. Nothing is better than having a women who is a triple threat! But slow down big fella. This is an absolute must. Get her OK before you try this move. Some women have a very big gag reflex and nothing will crush a wet dream faster than you trying to sneak this move in without talking about it first. If the woman is not down for the cause at least try convincing her to give you the happy ending while you are wearing a condom, that way it’s still in her mouth she just does not have to swallow. Everybody wins!

ON HER ASS/TITS:

The porn star move, you are getting all busy and shit smacking that ass flipping it and rubbing it down or she is blowing you like a champ and you decide to unload like a porn star on her ass or tits, STOP! think about it because this is as messy as it gets. You both will have a lot of clean up to do and she might just want your monkey ass off and away from her and now this! This might not be a good look for you so think it through.

ON HER FACE:

We know. Every wet dream ends with this scenario for you and yes this is some hot ass action. But this move could end very badly and make today your last time all up in that ass because some women will find this degrading and disrespectful. And not at all as exciting as you do. So make sure she is a little freaky and open to this move and if she is you just hit the lotto kid! So squirt away my young grasshopper but don’t bust in her eye or she might bust you in the eye! You have been warned!

Review: End Of Watch

MUST SEE PERIOD! If you enjoyed the movie TRAINING DAY then you will love this movie. Staring Jake Gyllenhall, Michael Pena, Anna Kendrick and America Ferrera.  Two young officers are marked for death after confiscating a small cache of money and firearms from the members of a notorious cartel, during a routine traffic stop. This move does a great job at character development and makes you love this group of cops and at the end it will break you heart. Almost everybody in the theater where I saw the movie was in tears at the end. Note that it is very violent and bloody with many stereotypes. But fast paced and very entertaining. Go see it on the big screen. Dont be a cheap ass and wait for it on dvd. One last thing, it has a great sound track…

Sex Position Names

COWGIRLS-HELPER:

Similar to the popular Cowgirl position, you kneel on top of him, pushing off his chest and sliding up and down his thighs. But he helps by supporting some of your weight and grabbing your hips or thighs while he rises to meet each thrust. Benefit Less stress on your legs, making climaxing easier. Plus, female-dominant positions delay his climax, so everyone wins. Bonus Alternate between shallow and deep thrusting to stimulate different parts of the vagina.

BALLET-DANCER:

Standing on one foot, face your guy and wrap your other leg around his waist while he helps support you. Benefit Allows for quality face time and connecting. Bonus If you’re a Flexi Lexie, try putting the raised leg on his shoulder for even deeper penetration.

CORKSCREW:

Near the edge of a bed or bench, rest on the hip and forearm of one side and press your thighs together. Your man stands and straddles you, entering from behind. Benefit Keeping your legs pressed together allows for a tighter hold on him as he thrusts. Bonus Instead of letting him do all the work, try thrusting you hips slightly to match his tempo.

WHEELBARROW:

Get on your hands and feet and have him pick you up by the pelvis. Then grip his waist with your thighs. Benefit Aside from being a fabulous arm workout for you, this male-dominant move allows him deeper penetration and an amazing view of your assets. Bonus Try resting on a table or the side of the bed and give your arms a break.

X-FACTOR:

He enters you from the missionary position, then slides his chest and legs off your body so his pelvis is in the same location but his limbs form an “X” with yours. Benefit You feel more of his body in motion. Bonus Use this unique angle to massage his back, butt, or legs as he thrusts.

THE CABOOSE:

While he sits on the bed or a chair, back yourself into his lap and spoon each other while seated. Benefit Because you can’t see your partner, fantasizing is easier, which can ad too the excitement. Bonus Tighten the muscles of your pelvic floor so you can grip him and keep him erect.

STAND-AND-DELIVER:

With both of you standing, you bend over at the waist; he enters you from behind. Benefit Bending over helps make the vaginal walls tighter and increases the intensity of the friction. Bonus Have him tickle your clitoris with his free hand, or loosely tie your hands together with a silky scarf.

MAGIC-MOUNTAIN:

He sits, legs bent, leaning back on his hands and forearms. You do the same and then inch toward him until you connect. Benefit You’ll both feel really connected looking at each other. Increase your stimulation by grinding your clitoris against his pelvis. Bonus Slide ice cubes down his chest and let the cold water collect at the base of his pelvis.

BUTTER-CHURNER:

Lie on your back with your legs raised and folded over so that your ankles are on either side of your head, while he squats and dips his penis in and out of your vagina. Benefit Aside from getting that eye contact, the extra rush of blood into your head will increase the ecstasy. Bonus Have him dribble chocolate syrup or honey into your mouth. It gets more of your senses involved and amps up the whole experience.

VALEDICTORIAN:

From missionary position, you raise your legs and extend them straight out (forming a “V”). Benefit This allows for good body contact with the vulva. Bonus Try grabbing your ankles. It can give you stability and an added stretch.

NFL removes replacement official

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) — The NFL has removed a replacement official from the New Orleans-Carolina game because it discovered he’s a Saints fan.

Side judge Brian Stropolo has been replaced by an alternate, Tim Keese. The NFL made the decision Sunday morning just hours before kickoff.

”He was replaced because of the information that surfaced disclosing that he is a Saints fan,” league spokesman Michael Signora said.

The league will look further into the matter. It received several phone calls and emails about Stropolo, who is from New Orleans and posted several photos of himself in Saints gear tailgating at a preseason game on his Facebook page.

Stropolo’s Facebook page has since been taken down.

Stropolo worked the Week 1 NFL opener, a nationally televised game between the Cowboys and the defending Super Bowl champion Giants.

ESPN was first to report the news.

Panthers general manager Marty Hurney declined comment on the situation, calling it ”a league matter.”

Say this after sex (pillow talk)

So your man just finished pounding you into next week. Here is what he wants to hear from you. Remember post orgasm, dropping a load, busting a nut or whatever you want to call it. This is what he wants next, (a) he is eager to know you’re satisfied. (b) sleep. So tell him something like this and he will pass out a happy man. “That thing you do with your tongue is unbelievable.” Give him some props for something specific; that way, he knows for sure that you’re satisfied…and exactly which move he should repeat next time. “I have so much fun with you in bed.” Dudes consider FUN to be a big compliment. “WOW, I’ve never done that before.” It’s a pride thing-men like to hear they’re rocking your world in a way no other dude has. So every now and then, let him know when you loved trying something new, like a different position. Now go back for seconds and stop talking.

Oh no you Didn’t just do that

     Celebrities are Horny dogs just like the rest of us. Only difference is that we dont have a camera always pointed at us. We love us some Pink! SHE IS BAD ASS and down to earth. Now Kanye we can do with out him. Yea PINK handle your business woman!   Easy there SNOOKI them things might start to leak. Clean up isle 3!  Ha, Ha the look on Brooke’s face is priceless!   Shit yea, Rosario can grab our junk any day.    Guys, Guys come on get a room!   We bet all she got was a handful of ribs.

Celebrity Couchie done wild

        WTF is Mad Mens Jon Hamm packing inside those pants? Is this photo shop? Does he not have a mirror at home? And how is everything shifted over to one side?

Dr.Oz healthy living

Stretch First Thing in the Morning

“Stretching for 10 minutes every morning has a variety of benefits, including decreasing risk of heart attack, alleviating stress, and improving circulation. You can feel the effects in just 10 days. My morning stretch starts with my hips. If I can’t touch my toes, I know I’m too stiff. Then I loosen up my neck, because that’s where I store tension. A lot of times I’ll think, I’m too tired to do my sit-ups today. But after stretching for 15 seconds, I have the energy for them. I also do yoga in the morning. I try to feel enough discomfort in the poses so I can breathe through it and loosen up my body. That means I’m ready for meditation–after some activity has taken the nervous energy out of my body. Yoga is perfectly designed for that, and I think it can help a lot of people.”

Don’t Skip Breakfast

“Our bodies have a biological expectation of a morning meal, so when you skip breakfast, your body gets confused and thinks there’s a famine. This decreases your metabolic rate and makes it harder to burn calories throughout the day. Additionally, you may end up eating more calories at lunch. But a good breakfast that includes fiber helps you eat fewer empty snacking calories throughout the day. It also helps ensure you have enough energy and ability to concentrate.”

Show Up Early

“Being 5 minutes late is a small thing that creates big stress, which in turn can cause chronic inflammation and high blood pressure. So many of us are hypertensive, but it comes from external stressors we place on ourselves, and those are adjustable. For instance, if you get to work at 5 minutes before 9, you’re not stressed because you’re ahead of everybody. You watch them all come in, while they wonder how you got your life so organized. So the mantra should be ‘If you’re not 5 minutes early, you’re late.’ That way, when unexpected things happen, you have a cushion.”

Get Off Your Tush

“Try replacing couch time with 30 minutes of activity. For example, do the dishes, rearrange your closet, or dance to a favorite song. I pace when I’m on my cell. If you work at a keyboard, sit on a stability ball. It doesn’t matter what it is, and you don’t need to sweat–just be active.

“I have a lot of natural energy. In the classic Ayurvedic approach to healing, there are three categories, or doshas–vata [characteristics include a tendency toward overexertion, enthusiasm, easily tired], pitta , and kapha [solid, calm, steady energy]–and many are a mixture of all three. I’m overwhelmingly pitta, which means I’m the kind of person who likes to move. But sometimes that urge borders on being unproductive because it turns frenetic. That’s when my wife, Lisa, will pull me back and say, ‘No, do these 10 things right and leave the 11th alone.'”

Increase Intimacy

“Fundamentally, what has always allowed us to weather the storm of stress is social connection. When we don’t have that structure around us, we pay the penalty in spades. In America in particular, I think we see the results of this lack of connection in weight gain, loss of energy, and loss of libido.

“So many of us run from intimacy by using hobbies, a job, or events that, on the larger scale, you know deep in your heart aren’t nearly as important. Instead, try a new habit that links you. Write a thank-you note every night to someone–a teacher, a coworker, a doctor, a friend, or your spouse.”

Control the 3 PM Crash

“Food is absorbed in the gut, the small intestine, and then goes to the liver. When we eat more than we need, the excess nutrients are converted into fat, which gets stored long-term in the body, the liver, and a covering of the intestines called the omentum, the organ that catches and stores fat.

“The worst time of day for mindless eating: 3 PM, when energy dips and many people find themselves making a trip to the vending machine to fill up on lots of unnecessary calories. Sugar, by the way, is as addictive as crack cocaine. That’s because when you eat a sugary food, it rushes into your brain and pushes you to have more of it. Salt does the same, by the way, but sugar’s really powerful.

“Instead, carry healthy snacks, like carrot sticks, so you reach for those instead of a bag of chips. If you’re really craving a specific food, though, practice portion control. Acknowledge to yourself that the first taste is the best taste. Have a few bites, and then wash them down with a big glass of water. Get the taste out of your mouth, or else that drive to have more will continue.

“My cheats are green tea ice cream and salted nuts. If they’re chocolate covered, I just can’t resist them. I’ll eat a thousand calories’ worth and feel bloated.”

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

“We have a limited bank of decision-making ability, and we waste it by making too many decisions about small things, like, ‘What am I having for breakfast?’ Just have the same darn thing for breakfast every day. I automate as many decisions as possible, which helps me.

“Also, get rid of nagging, unfinished tasks. There are probably, like, five in your life. You know what they are: the windshield wipers that need changing, the screen door that needs oiling, the new iPhone that isn’t synching with your iPad. Just fix them and check them off your list. It will make you feel more in control and less stressed out.”

Respect the 10 PM Hour

“There’s a sacredness to sleep that we overlook, and it’s a big problem in America. We set our alarm clocks for the morning; we should set them for the time at night when we need to start preparing for bed. By 10 PM, you’d better be getting ready for sleep, because the average American gets up at 6, and you need your 8 hours.

“Not having a regular nighttime routine can result in inadequate sleep, which can make you fat by boosting levels of a hormone that makes you hungry: ghrelin. It is like the gremlin of hunger.

“If I can’t fall asleep in 15 or 20 minutes, I’ll sit up–I can’t turn the lights on because it wakes up my wife–and meditate. So instead of losing 2 hours of sleep, I lose only 40 minutes: 20 minutes trying in the beginning and 20 minutes meditating. I can almost always fall asleep right afterward.”

Football, Week 1

Oups there it is! Personal foul! Roughing the Couchie

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL! We are! Yes our Giants lost their first game, but the way we see it is that we are just getting our 4 loses for the year out-of-the-way early, on our way to a 12-4 season!!! Can you say SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS!  No? Well we CAN!  GO BIG BLUE…