Porn sex is NOT real?

I recently was reading an article by a,  As the article put it a 40 something cougar. Who was complaining about having sex with younger men and the men trying to have what she described as Porn sex with her. So she has set out to debunk our idea of sex as a porn shoot and wants to re-educate us on what real sex is and is not. The following are quotes from her on having sex and what is true and what is not about porn sex.  What do I think about the article you ask? Great question. Here is my answer. Way to fuck up a wet dream there you dead fish fuck! Son-of-a-bitch are you kidding me? Remind me to bring a defibrillator the next time you are feeling horny and wanting to get laid.

THE MONEY SHOT:

We think it was around 2006 when we started getting multiple requests by men to cum on our faces. At first we were like, “Wha?”, but soon caught on.  The “facial” or “money shot” was becoming popular in pornos. While some of us enjoy it and others find it degrading, I think all women can agree that it’s messy. These girls in the pornos seem so happy to get a load on their face. In real life, we’re running to the bathroom to wipe off your sperm … but not with water. That makes it stick to your face like glue.

TrueCTL solution: Go green and save water, SWALLOW!

SQUIRTING:

Some women can squirt. Some women cannot. Some women have learned to do so (allegedly). Yet, TONS of women in pornos seem to be human waterfalls. We don’t care that much about learning to squirt. Either it happens naturally or it doesn’t. Fact: an orgasm is just as good if nothing gushes out of us. Fact: you are not some wizard if you make it happen. 

TrueCTL solution: Get a check up, because we bring squeegee with us to the party because if we can’t squeegee the mess running down the side of your legs we aint doing work.

Watching Us Play With Ourselves:

The porniverse is full of women who masturbate upon request. Actually, they don’t even need a request. They’re just hanging out on their bed in the middle of the day waiting to masturbate. They’ll moan and writhe and play with their tits. It’s no wonder that guys want to see their real girlfriends put on a show like this. Hate to break it to you, but when we masturbate for reals, it’s not a production. We don’t carve out time in our day to play with ourselves. We don’t wear high heels or massage our tits. We’re usually in our bed, half asleep. That’s why we feel awkward when you ask us to “perform” masturbation for you. It’s like, “Hold on, let me put on my PJ pants.”

TrueCTL: If this is too much to ask-I’m out of  here! Have fun with your vibrator

Face Fucking:

Ah, good old face fucking. For those of you who don’t know, face fucking involves a dick shoved violently in a mouth. Hands on the back of the head. Possible choking.  Sasha Grey pulled it off so seamlessly that men now seem to think that the rest of us can/ want to. Unless you enjoy being suffocated, choked and possibly barfing, this is a do-not-even-ask-us scenario.

TrueCTL: AaaaHhhhh wrong name for it, i’ts actually SCULL FUCKING. And when done correctly the intent is not to choke or suffocate. I’s sensual to dominate, take control to slowly do the work for you. That is what happens when you go for younger men. They don’t know how to handle a woman.

Anything To Do With Buttholes:

It seems like suddenly, within the last couple of years, all that guys can think about are our assholes. Licking them, fingering them, putting dildos in them, fucking them. The few guys we’ve asked to explain says it has to do with the “forbidden” or “taboo” aspect of anal play. While we believe them, we also think it has to do with all that porn they’ve been watching. Unlike the ready, willing and able assholes of the porn stars, real women’s buttholes tend to be a bit harder to work with. Professional girls make anal play look fun and easy. In real life it’s much more painful and messy, not to mention a logistical nightmare. And sometimes pleasurable, too.

TrueCTL: Like Micky used to say back in the day “TRY IT YOU’LL LIKE IT”

The On-The-Knees BJ

There are lots of ways to give blow jobs, the most uncomfortable being on your knees. If you’re going to be down there for more than five minutes (and you probably are), your knees are going to start to ache like holy hell.  As it’s  depicted in porn, we love being down on our knees moaning and squealing for as long as it takes. Nope. Not fun.

TrueCTL: Knee pads, pillow, towel, sofa cushions, etc… 5 min? try 55 minutes!

Reverse Cowgirl:

A note on the very popular porno position of reverse cowgirl. The is where a girl gets on top of the man backwards. Truth be told, only one in a million penises will fit in our vaginas in a way that makes this position possible. When it works, that’s great! But somehow, the success rate of reverse cowgirl is way smaller in real life.

TrueCTL: WTF are you fucking a midget? This is great every time.

The Enthusiastic Hand Job:

Hand jobs are always boring in real life. Always. And they make your arm hurt after a while. Don’t ever let pornography make you believe otherwise.

TrueCTL: Really now you are complaining about pounding out a quick one for us. What are we just sitting there reading a book? Shit I have had enough of you, let me go shoot myself….Really you can’t help a brother pound one out?????

Making Out With Our Girlfriends:

No we’ve never made out with our best friend. No, we don’t want to. No, she’s not ever going to stop over, have a few drinks with us and have a threesome with us. We wonder where you got that idea…

The Noisy Orgasm:

We don’t all make a lot of noise while we’re climaxing, so stop expecting us to sweat and writhe, scream and moan with every thrust. It doesn’t mean we’re not enjoying ourselves if we don’t wake the neighbors.

Coming On Tits Or Ass:

Similar to the money shot, a lot of guys are really into asking if they can cum on our boobs and/or butt. For most of us, it’s really no big deal. We’re not quite as amped by it as the women in the adult films, but we humor you guys and let you blow your load wherever you want (within reason). But we know the desire to cum on our tits and ass is directly related to the rise of internet porn because back in the day, it never once occurred to any of the dudes we were sleeping with. 

Wall Sex:

God, sex against a wall looks really awesome on video. In real life, it’s not so awesome. It’s uncomfortable. And all we’re thinking about is if you’re going to drop us and when it will be over. 

Gas is cheap…

Yes gas is cheap compared to some of the other things we will willingly pay a crazy price for. I just paid $ 1.89 for a bottle of soda that if I bought it at one of the price clubs would have cost me about .35 cents. At a movie theater that same soda would have cost me $ 4.00 think about that for a minute. I bitch about paying $ 4.00 for a gallon of gas that will take me about 24 miles to use up. But my dumb ass has no problem paying $ 4.00 for 20,oz of soda. At this price if  my car ran on soda and I purchased a gallon it would have cost me a little over $ 25.00 for that gallon of soda. So hell yea, gas is cheap! My car takes 15 gallons to fill. At $ 4.00 per gallon that’s $ 60.00 per fill up. That same 15 gallons of soda would cost me $ 375.00. WTF….

Fun information here in this post. Original post comes from http://www.moneytalksnews.com

Here, in no particular order, is a list of 20 products with high markups, along with ways to avoid paying a premium.

Movie theater popcorn/candy

Movie popcorn: Image: Movie theater popcorn © Lanny Ziering, Brand X Pictures, Getty Images What’s harder to digest: (1) Movie theater popcorn has an average markup of 1,275% or (2) with a soda, that popcorn has a caloric equivalent of three McDonald’s Quarter Pounders? Nutrition aside, concession items like $5 tubs of popcorn and $6 boxes of Gummy Worms are big revenue streams for movie theaters.

Since most theaters prohibit moviegoers from bringing in outside food and drinks, the way to save is to bypass concessions altogether. If you can’t, find your cinematic savings elsewhere, like getting a five-pack of movie tickets for $30 at CinemaDeals.com.

Prescription drugs

Astronomical prescription drug prices — with markups ranging from 200% to 3,000% — are enough to give patients a headache. In fact, price hikes caught the eye of Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne, who is suing pharmaceuticals distributor McKesson for markups on Allegra, Celebrex, Coumadin, Flonase, Lipitor and Valium.

To save on prescriptions, ask your doctor for free samples and also ask about generic substitutes. Comparison shopping is also a great idea. Wal-Mart, Target and warehouse stores like Costco are good places to start. And take advantage of mail-order suppliers like Express Scripts if your prescription drug plan offers it. Check out “10 tips to safely save on prescriptions.”

Diamonds

Shoppers in the market for a diamond should be prepared to pay anywhere from 50% to 200% more than the wholesale cost, according to The Street.

A diamond’s sparkle may cause shoppers to turn a blind eye to the price tag, but you can land a better deal by understanding what you’re buying and shopping around. Read our guide to buying diamonds in five simple steps.

Bottled water

Some claim bottled water’s markup reaches 4,000% — more expensive than gasoline. Saving is simple: Drink tap water. If you’re concerned about taste or quality, use a water filtration system.

Salad bars

Some salad bar items are marked up more than 350%, according to Food Network Magazine (.pdf file). Items that aren’t worth their weight: chickpeas (386% markup over retail), radishes (302%) and baby corn (277%). To save, load up on the lighter items that cost less than you’d pay at the grocery store, like bacon bits (55% markdown) and grilled chicken (44%).

Eyeglass frames

Dishing out $450 for Armani frames? Markups for eyeglass frames can reach 1,000%. That’s certainly not unheard-of. Fortunately, focusing on warehouse stores and the Internet can help you find discounts. Check out “8 ways to save on eyeglasses” for more ways to save up to 90%.

Soda

Order a glass of Coke when you’re dining out and you could pay 300% to 600% over cost. Sure, you know going into a restaurant that you’re paying for the service and ambiance too. But if you’re looking to save without sacrificing a night out, skip the extras like soda and opt for water instead.

Text messages

Outgoing text messages on a cellphone can cost the provider three-tenths of a cent, but users pay up to 20 cents. A 6,000% markup is not unusual. Some plans charge 10,000 times more for sending a text than other types of data. If you frequently send text messages, get an unlimited plan.

Wine/champagne

It’s not uncommon for restaurants to charge two or even three times retail for a bottle of wine. Order by the glass and you’re sipping on an item marked up as much as 400%. So scan the menu for a reasonably priced bottle (tip: look for house wines).

Hotel minibars

Whether you’re reaching for a Snickers or a toothpaste kit, minibar markups can hit 400%. Some of the most ludicrous minibar prices, according to Oyster.com: $14 Gummy Bears at Omni Berkshire Place and a $10 bottle of water at the Mansfield Hotel. Simple solution: Leave your room if you want these items.

Coffee and tea

Lattes are one of life’s little luxuries, but they can be marked up by 300%. If you’re looking to save, start by turning on your coffee maker and bypassing the coffee shop.

Handbags

Some of the world’s most expensive handbags: a $3.8 million purse made by Mouawad that’s adorned with more than 4,000 colorless diamonds, and a $1.9 million Hermes Birkin bag.

Women own an average of 10 handbags and spend an average of $148 on a handbag “splurge,” according to a ShopSmart poll. Keep more cash in your purse by comparison-shopping online and in outlet stores. For more tips, read our story on finding designer accessories at deep discounts.

Designer jeans

A $665 price tag on Gucci jeans and $225 for Sevens proves some shoppers are willing to go to great lengths for fashion. But these designer items are grossly overpriced. 

According to The Wall Street Journal, it costs about $50 to make True Religion’s best-selling jeans, Super T Jeans, but the wholesale price reaches $152, and the average retail price is inflated to $335.

Bakery goods

For items that can easily be baked at home, you could be paying a 100% markup. Granted, convenience is a factor, and maybe a baker is a better cook than you. If so, a good cookbook could offer a decent return on investment.

Greeting cards

Greeting cards are simple pieces of paper with a 200% markup. And that’s before factoring in so-called “Hallmark holidays.” On a budget? Make your own cards, or, better yet, if you have school-aged children, have them design one. This will likely amount to a more sentimental gesture and will leave a lasting impression.

College textbooks

Most college students will shell out about $655 for required textbooks this year, according to the National Association of College Stores. It’s no secret that most of these books come with monster markups. Read “11 ways to save big on college textbooks” for cost-cutting tips, from asking professors about coursework in advance to textbook rentals.

Flowers

An orchid can cost up to $25 per stem. Add Valentine’s Day or a wedding into the mix and prices can surge. While disregarding flower purchases altogether isn’t always an option, shopping around for the best price is. Check out online retailers, and buy in season to help cut costs.

Produce

Produce is often marked up as much as 75%. Buying in season is the best way to find a bargain. As we explain in our seasonal savings post, look for deals on grapefruits and oranges in January, asparagus in March and melons in May. Also steer clear of pre-cut veggies and fruit, which often have an additional markup of about 40%.

Furniture and mattresses

Furniture stores usually make a hefty margin, with markups of about 80%. Try to shop during sales, but if your timing is off, don’t be afraid to negotiate a better price. Also take note of the product number, and then search online to see if any other retailers offer a lower price.

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Cosmetics

The average markup on cosmetics: 78%. Since most cosmetics are made from various combinations of dirt, oil, wax and fragrance, it’s surprising that shoppers pay such a premium. But thanks to anti-aging claims and celebrity-endorsed marketing, shoppers have been breaking the bank to look younger and more beautiful. 

Fortunately, there are some simple ways to get more bang for your buck when purchasing beauty products (hint: skip the drugstores and load up on free samples).

Money Shot 101

Make sure you know where your partner draws the line when it comes to your money shot! For women this is not so much an issue as it is for us men because women can pretty much bust their nut anywhere without worrying about leaving behind a mess. Now men you do not have that luxury. When you bust a nut you can bet that there will be some cleanup involved. So lets talk about doe’s and dont’s, when and where.

INSIDE HER:

This one is a landmine. Know exactly where you stand right from the beginning. Is she ok with this ? Is she on birth control? This should be a serious relationship because if you are not using condoms the risk is high of unwanted pregnancy, STD’s and not to mention all the emotional issues. Know where you stand and make sure it is ok with her. Your benefit is that 90% of the cleanup is her responsibility.

IN A CONDOM:

This is the prefered method if you are running around town pile driving everything that moves. The things to look out for are. (1) remove the condom before junior goes back to sleep so the condom wont fall off letting your man juice escape making a mess on the sheets, floor, sofa etc. That wont be a good look. (2) make sure you tie it up in a knot as soon as you take it off so it wont slip out of your hands open up and make a mess. (3) Put it in the garbage not down the toilet or take it with you to dump it in the trash or possibly clean it out under hot running soapy water. (real sexy huh?)

IN HER MOUTH:

WINNER! that’s the prevailing thought out there among men. Nothing is better than having a women who is a triple threat! But slow down big fella. This is an absolute must. Get her OK before you try this move. Some women have a very big gag reflex and nothing will crush a wet dream faster than you trying to sneak this move in without talking about it first. If the woman is not down for the cause at least try convincing her to give you the happy ending while you are wearing a condom, that way it’s still in her mouth she just does not have to swallow. Everybody wins!

ON HER ASS/TITS:

The porn star move, you are getting all busy and shit smacking that ass flipping it and rubbing it down or she is blowing you like a champ and you decide to unload like a porn star on her ass or tits, STOP! think about it because this is as messy as it gets. You both will have a lot of clean up to do and she might just want your monkey ass off and away from her and now this! This might not be a good look for you so think it through.

ON HER FACE:

We know. Every wet dream ends with this scenario for you and yes this is some hot ass action. But this move could end very badly and make today your last time all up in that ass because some women will find this degrading and disrespectful. And not at all as exciting as you do. So make sure she is a little freaky and open to this move and if she is you just hit the lotto kid! So squirt away my young grasshopper but don’t bust in her eye or she might bust you in the eye! You have been warned!

Review: End Of Watch

MUST SEE PERIOD! If you enjoyed the movie TRAINING DAY then you will love this movie. Staring Jake Gyllenhall, Michael Pena, Anna Kendrick and America Ferrera.  Two young officers are marked for death after confiscating a small cache of money and firearms from the members of a notorious cartel, during a routine traffic stop. This move does a great job at character development and makes you love this group of cops and at the end it will break you heart. Almost everybody in the theater where I saw the movie was in tears at the end. Note that it is very violent and bloody with many stereotypes. But fast paced and very entertaining. Go see it on the big screen. Dont be a cheap ass and wait for it on dvd. One last thing, it has a great sound track…

Sex Position Names

COWGIRLS-HELPER:

Similar to the popular Cowgirl position, you kneel on top of him, pushing off his chest and sliding up and down his thighs. But he helps by supporting some of your weight and grabbing your hips or thighs while he rises to meet each thrust. Benefit Less stress on your legs, making climaxing easier. Plus, female-dominant positions delay his climax, so everyone wins. Bonus Alternate between shallow and deep thrusting to stimulate different parts of the vagina.

BALLET-DANCER:

Standing on one foot, face your guy and wrap your other leg around his waist while he helps support you. Benefit Allows for quality face time and connecting. Bonus If you’re a Flexi Lexie, try putting the raised leg on his shoulder for even deeper penetration.

CORKSCREW:

Near the edge of a bed or bench, rest on the hip and forearm of one side and press your thighs together. Your man stands and straddles you, entering from behind. Benefit Keeping your legs pressed together allows for a tighter hold on him as he thrusts. Bonus Instead of letting him do all the work, try thrusting you hips slightly to match his tempo.

WHEELBARROW:

Get on your hands and feet and have him pick you up by the pelvis. Then grip his waist with your thighs. Benefit Aside from being a fabulous arm workout for you, this male-dominant move allows him deeper penetration and an amazing view of your assets. Bonus Try resting on a table or the side of the bed and give your arms a break.

X-FACTOR:

He enters you from the missionary position, then slides his chest and legs off your body so his pelvis is in the same location but his limbs form an “X” with yours. Benefit You feel more of his body in motion. Bonus Use this unique angle to massage his back, butt, or legs as he thrusts.

THE CABOOSE:

While he sits on the bed or a chair, back yourself into his lap and spoon each other while seated. Benefit Because you can’t see your partner, fantasizing is easier, which can ad too the excitement. Bonus Tighten the muscles of your pelvic floor so you can grip him and keep him erect.

STAND-AND-DELIVER:

With both of you standing, you bend over at the waist; he enters you from behind. Benefit Bending over helps make the vaginal walls tighter and increases the intensity of the friction. Bonus Have him tickle your clitoris with his free hand, or loosely tie your hands together with a silky scarf.

MAGIC-MOUNTAIN:

He sits, legs bent, leaning back on his hands and forearms. You do the same and then inch toward him until you connect. Benefit You’ll both feel really connected looking at each other. Increase your stimulation by grinding your clitoris against his pelvis. Bonus Slide ice cubes down his chest and let the cold water collect at the base of his pelvis.

BUTTER-CHURNER:

Lie on your back with your legs raised and folded over so that your ankles are on either side of your head, while he squats and dips his penis in and out of your vagina. Benefit Aside from getting that eye contact, the extra rush of blood into your head will increase the ecstasy. Bonus Have him dribble chocolate syrup or honey into your mouth. It gets more of your senses involved and amps up the whole experience.

VALEDICTORIAN:

From missionary position, you raise your legs and extend them straight out (forming a “V”). Benefit This allows for good body contact with the vulva. Bonus Try grabbing your ankles. It can give you stability and an added stretch.

NFL removes replacement official

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) — The NFL has removed a replacement official from the New Orleans-Carolina game because it discovered he’s a Saints fan.

Side judge Brian Stropolo has been replaced by an alternate, Tim Keese. The NFL made the decision Sunday morning just hours before kickoff.

”He was replaced because of the information that surfaced disclosing that he is a Saints fan,” league spokesman Michael Signora said.

The league will look further into the matter. It received several phone calls and emails about Stropolo, who is from New Orleans and posted several photos of himself in Saints gear tailgating at a preseason game on his Facebook page.

Stropolo’s Facebook page has since been taken down.

Stropolo worked the Week 1 NFL opener, a nationally televised game between the Cowboys and the defending Super Bowl champion Giants.

ESPN was first to report the news.

Panthers general manager Marty Hurney declined comment on the situation, calling it ”a league matter.”

Say this after sex (pillow talk)

So your man just finished pounding you into next week. Here is what he wants to hear from you. Remember post orgasm, dropping a load, busting a nut or whatever you want to call it. This is what he wants next, (a) he is eager to know you’re satisfied. (b) sleep. So tell him something like this and he will pass out a happy man. “That thing you do with your tongue is unbelievable.” Give him some props for something specific; that way, he knows for sure that you’re satisfied…and exactly which move he should repeat next time. “I have so much fun with you in bed.” Dudes consider FUN to be a big compliment. “WOW, I’ve never done that before.” It’s a pride thing-men like to hear they’re rocking your world in a way no other dude has. So every now and then, let him know when you loved trying something new, like a different position. Now go back for seconds and stop talking.

Oh no you Didn’t just do that

     Celebrities are Horny dogs just like the rest of us. Only difference is that we dont have a camera always pointed at us. We love us some Pink! SHE IS BAD ASS and down to earth. Now Kanye we can do with out him. Yea PINK handle your business woman!   Easy there SNOOKI them things might start to leak. Clean up isle 3!  Ha, Ha the look on Brooke’s face is priceless!   Shit yea, Rosario can grab our junk any day.    Guys, Guys come on get a room!   We bet all she got was a handful of ribs.

Dr.Oz healthy living

Stretch First Thing in the Morning

“Stretching for 10 minutes every morning has a variety of benefits, including decreasing risk of heart attack, alleviating stress, and improving circulation. You can feel the effects in just 10 days. My morning stretch starts with my hips. If I can’t touch my toes, I know I’m too stiff. Then I loosen up my neck, because that’s where I store tension. A lot of times I’ll think, I’m too tired to do my sit-ups today. But after stretching for 15 seconds, I have the energy for them. I also do yoga in the morning. I try to feel enough discomfort in the poses so I can breathe through it and loosen up my body. That means I’m ready for meditation–after some activity has taken the nervous energy out of my body. Yoga is perfectly designed for that, and I think it can help a lot of people.”

Don’t Skip Breakfast

“Our bodies have a biological expectation of a morning meal, so when you skip breakfast, your body gets confused and thinks there’s a famine. This decreases your metabolic rate and makes it harder to burn calories throughout the day. Additionally, you may end up eating more calories at lunch. But a good breakfast that includes fiber helps you eat fewer empty snacking calories throughout the day. It also helps ensure you have enough energy and ability to concentrate.”

Show Up Early

“Being 5 minutes late is a small thing that creates big stress, which in turn can cause chronic inflammation and high blood pressure. So many of us are hypertensive, but it comes from external stressors we place on ourselves, and those are adjustable. For instance, if you get to work at 5 minutes before 9, you’re not stressed because you’re ahead of everybody. You watch them all come in, while they wonder how you got your life so organized. So the mantra should be ‘If you’re not 5 minutes early, you’re late.’ That way, when unexpected things happen, you have a cushion.”

Get Off Your Tush

“Try replacing couch time with 30 minutes of activity. For example, do the dishes, rearrange your closet, or dance to a favorite song. I pace when I’m on my cell. If you work at a keyboard, sit on a stability ball. It doesn’t matter what it is, and you don’t need to sweat–just be active.

“I have a lot of natural energy. In the classic Ayurvedic approach to healing, there are three categories, or doshas–vata [characteristics include a tendency toward overexertion, enthusiasm, easily tired], pitta , and kapha [solid, calm, steady energy]–and many are a mixture of all three. I’m overwhelmingly pitta, which means I’m the kind of person who likes to move. But sometimes that urge borders on being unproductive because it turns frenetic. That’s when my wife, Lisa, will pull me back and say, ‘No, do these 10 things right and leave the 11th alone.'”

Increase Intimacy

“Fundamentally, what has always allowed us to weather the storm of stress is social connection. When we don’t have that structure around us, we pay the penalty in spades. In America in particular, I think we see the results of this lack of connection in weight gain, loss of energy, and loss of libido.

“So many of us run from intimacy by using hobbies, a job, or events that, on the larger scale, you know deep in your heart aren’t nearly as important. Instead, try a new habit that links you. Write a thank-you note every night to someone–a teacher, a coworker, a doctor, a friend, or your spouse.”

Control the 3 PM Crash

“Food is absorbed in the gut, the small intestine, and then goes to the liver. When we eat more than we need, the excess nutrients are converted into fat, which gets stored long-term in the body, the liver, and a covering of the intestines called the omentum, the organ that catches and stores fat.

“The worst time of day for mindless eating: 3 PM, when energy dips and many people find themselves making a trip to the vending machine to fill up on lots of unnecessary calories. Sugar, by the way, is as addictive as crack cocaine. That’s because when you eat a sugary food, it rushes into your brain and pushes you to have more of it. Salt does the same, by the way, but sugar’s really powerful.

“Instead, carry healthy snacks, like carrot sticks, so you reach for those instead of a bag of chips. If you’re really craving a specific food, though, practice portion control. Acknowledge to yourself that the first taste is the best taste. Have a few bites, and then wash them down with a big glass of water. Get the taste out of your mouth, or else that drive to have more will continue.

“My cheats are green tea ice cream and salted nuts. If they’re chocolate covered, I just can’t resist them. I’ll eat a thousand calories’ worth and feel bloated.”

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

“We have a limited bank of decision-making ability, and we waste it by making too many decisions about small things, like, ‘What am I having for breakfast?’ Just have the same darn thing for breakfast every day. I automate as many decisions as possible, which helps me.

“Also, get rid of nagging, unfinished tasks. There are probably, like, five in your life. You know what they are: the windshield wipers that need changing, the screen door that needs oiling, the new iPhone that isn’t synching with your iPad. Just fix them and check them off your list. It will make you feel more in control and less stressed out.”

Respect the 10 PM Hour

“There’s a sacredness to sleep that we overlook, and it’s a big problem in America. We set our alarm clocks for the morning; we should set them for the time at night when we need to start preparing for bed. By 10 PM, you’d better be getting ready for sleep, because the average American gets up at 6, and you need your 8 hours.

“Not having a regular nighttime routine can result in inadequate sleep, which can make you fat by boosting levels of a hormone that makes you hungry: ghrelin. It is like the gremlin of hunger.

“If I can’t fall asleep in 15 or 20 minutes, I’ll sit up–I can’t turn the lights on because it wakes up my wife–and meditate. So instead of losing 2 hours of sleep, I lose only 40 minutes: 20 minutes trying in the beginning and 20 minutes meditating. I can almost always fall asleep right afterward.”